(Typing fast, copying from notebook, and no autocorrect or spell check so beware of typos! At least I've almost mastered the switched Y and Z!)
After a hiatus from playing during which sunbathed in Israel and Lil' Red bonded with a new friend in Switzerland, we hit the streets of Munich (München), Bavaria (Bayern), Germany, (Deutschland). This city had quite a bit of potential because there are ample tourists and Germany does love its accordion. The problem, however, was that there were also ample regulations, which is to be expected in a big city. I had done a wee bit of research on said regulations, and it seemed that the danger zone was Marienplatz, where a busker could only work at pre-assigned times. One must audition and be granted a €10 day permit. Sounds comlicated. My plan was just to set up a little ways out of the main square and smile and bat my eyelashes and play dumb were I caught. I considered asking about the permits and actally getting one, but I read that there is a limited number of them issued and I didn't want to risk them saying no then seeing me out anyway.
I forgot to mention that last Saturday was coincidentally the Champions League (football) final, held in Munich against Chelsea. That pretty much eliminated my chances of getting a permit, I thought. I asked some buskers and locals if they had any idea about the rules. Some said I would certainly get busted, while others were more confident that the riot squad woud go easy on me and that it was the unlicensed tramp-looking men with half a guitar that they were after.
There were a lot of street acts in Munich, and most were quite impessive! That's also to be expected, if everyone's paying by the day. There's a list of exactly all the acts I saw:
I. Statues
a. A miner, made of "gold"
b. A gladiator-type, made of "bronze"
c. A female angel (?) made of "marble"
d. A Pinnochio/clown (?) in normal costume. Stood in box wth shoes mounted by his knees to appear
small. Good effect.
II. Ensembles
a. Konnexion Balkon. Fabulous! This was like a funk string ensemble. The entertaining leader was on violin, and there was a double bass, piano, accordion, and maybe drums? They did dramatic and eclectic covers of classical favorites, and were on Beehoven's ifth when I stopped by. I didn't want to buy a CD but do want to look them up. Had I been alone I would have left them my business card with a note, possibly indicating my proposal of marriage to the bass player.
b. I forget the other grou's name, but they were a jazz ensemble with saxophone, drum, marimba, and something else. Not accordion. More on them later.
III. Solo acts
a. Old man not looking too well-off who would ocasionally play soe clarinet.
b. Three different men on accordion (just accordion? Booooring!)
c. Guy on harpsichord
d. Only one trampy half-guitar player
e. Juggler/magician
f. Best for last: a one-man band! This is the act closest to mine that I have seen, which is both awesome and inspirational and threatening. I decided to stomach my pride and competitive tendencies and watch him, to pick up ideas (not that I need them!!!!!!!!!). He is a young foreign-looking man (as in not German, exotic looking) who wears a semi-matching green suit and hat. He plays guitar. his foot stamps a tambourine. Around his neck is a harmonica holder with a kazoo, duck call, whistle (like that clown prat fall sound), and more. He played gypsy sounding music, and it was great. I bragged to myself that I have a lot more control of/sound from my tambourine having it strapped to my foot, but I give him credit for all the mouth instruments. I will be copying him on that. He also sang a little. I was slightly grossed out to see a gallon of saliva fall from the kyzoo until i remembered that my shoes have been moistened in the same way. i wanted to talk to him, to compliment his act (maybe) and ask again about permits (and through his follow-up questions reveal the details of my act), but he did not stop playing! just kept going on between songs. Sometimes people will interrupt me to talk, whcih is fine, and other times they just linger. When someone stays for more than ten seconds I suspect they might want to talk so I skip the second verse or something to hurry it along and talk between songs, but this guy didn't catch on. Maybe he only speaks Spanish and assumed we couldn't communicate! I should start wearing a badge like flight attendants and tour guides with the flags of all the countires whose language I speak. I had to meet people so I didn't wait any longer to chat.
Anyway, let's talk about me already!! I was planning on only playing Saturday (didn't want to get shut down before Saturday even started) but Friday was a nice day and it actually made sense to get some playing time in on the day there weren't 2,000 extra police officers on patrol.
Friday, May 18, 2012
I went to Odeonsplatz, wehre I had seen the One Man Band. This was definitely still the city center, but i was going to claim that I thoguht the permits were only for Marienplatz. I might as well tell you some new knowledge of mine. In this square there is a bright yellow church, the name of whcih sounds like "Tina Turner Church," on one side and a government building on the other. Between them is a big structure with stairs and columns (perfect description, right?). Up the stairs in the middle is a statue that Munich had sent as a gift to Chile, who sent it back. it has some people and a lion. Beside the stairs are two other lions, identical except for one difference: the one on the side of the government building has his mouth open slightly, and the one closer to the church has his mouth closed. (I was ofended when my tour guide said "his," but then I rememebred that mane=male lion.) This is a message to not question the church, religious doctrines, or your faith, but that one ought to speak out against the government.
Also in this platz at this time was an old man laying accordion and the second ensemble I mentioned near the gates to the beautiful Englischer Garten. I talkd to them about permits as well. Unfortunately it began to rain. The band packed up and moved under the arch to keep dry. The accordion player stayed put, safe under a ledge of the Tina Turner church. I climbed the stairs between the ions and sat up there to wait it out. The football match wasn't for another 26 hours but people were already out in their jerseys with crates of Augustinerbräu. One such hooligan came to talk and switched to English seamlessly despite his admitted drunkenness. Of course i claimed to be from Scotland (I must enjoy my last few days of being able to do this) and he bought it. After a litle while he said, "I'm annoying you, right?" He was, a little bit, so i said, "A ltitle bit." He laughed at my politeness, citing the manners of the Brits such as myself. "A German would just say, 'Fuck off!'" Glad I'm a good representative of British manners! I told him that I was waitign for the rain to stop, and he said it had stopped. I wasn't convinced that it had stopped entirely, but he said, "Tust me, I'm a meteorologist." I guess I can trust a drunk meteorologist to assess whether or not it is still raining! I asked him if he could promise me two hours without rain, and he promised me fifteen hours without it.
The accordion player was still out so i crossed the platz to take over the jazz band's pitch. But then I saw the marimba in the archway, a sign that they would be back. In my own city I would set up anyway, but not as a one-time crasher. i took a long walk around, trying to get to this other platz where my tour had stoped, the one with the Hofbräuhaus. It had seemed to be quite touristy. But when I arrived the place was full of riot police, with another troop running in. I saw one man covered in blood. Moving on then...I took another long walk, through part of the park, back to Odeonsplatz. The jazz band had still not set up, but the marimba player seemed to be giving a demo in the archway. Luckily the accordion player was gone so i set up in front of the church where my cohort had been the previous day. i stayed here for about ten minutes. What a waste of an afternoon! An older couple waited while I set up, and I decided to launch right into a song with the complete new act. this was a bad idea since these songs are new and not ready and I hadn't played in two weeks. Totally bombed! No tip. I did received a tip "just for the kazoo" as well as there from three little girls in matching oufits (they tipped Flaca).
First, it started to rain, more heavily than before. I realized that I, too, was under a ledge so I kept going, but my box and Flaca got wet. Then an old German woman with a grocery trolley stoped and began a lecture in German. Interruped her to say "Ich sprechen kein Deutsch" and she attemptd to convey the message in her minimal English: "No music here." She exlpained something about a flower seller and pointed around the corner. Then, "Police...no ooniform. No money." That was pretty clear. So nie of her to warn me! I called it a day, the shortest of my career.
Saturday, May 19, 2012
Luckily, I still had Saturday! Cristiano, my most recent amazing Couch Surfing host, suggested I play in the massive English Gardens. At first I wasn't keen on the idea since I didn't want to disturb the peace, but my nerves about the police convinced me that hiding among trees would be advantageous. this was an absolutelz gorgeous day (which also happened to be my 5/6 birthday) and there were a million people in the park. I had packed extra sweaters and my hat and gloves just in acse, but when I got outside I began to pine for my sunscreen isntead. I had to pay attention to where i was going because my hosts and new friends Cristiano, anna, Gonzalo and Alejandro would be coming along to picnic near me and I had to be able to tell them where to find me in the massiv park. There were crowds of football fans everwhere both in red and blue. There were obvious tourists, exercisers, dogs. The park has it all: paths in the sun, paths in the shade, water with ducklings, even a "surfer's wave" in the river where crowds gather to watch brave wet-suit clad wave-catchers do their craft in a comically small body of water.
I walked in the direction of the biergarten, passing the nude sunbathing area (slowed my pace to peek, naturally), a picturesque footbridge over the river, and an ice cream stand. I looked around as I ate the ice ream that I immediately gave in to and decided that this was a perfect spot. Shady for me and my fair shoulers, lots of foot trafic, well hidden! i didn't want to be too close to the ice cream vendor so I went father down the path, losing some traffic at the turn off to the main park, but that was okay.
This was a nice time. Obviously it was nice to be out in the park, there was a great festive spirit about, and I hadnÄt played in so long1 I tried utilizing the hands-free device (little joke for those of us who don't care about technology) for my kazoo, but it clashed on my shoulders with the squeezebox and also it obstructed my view of the keys. that won't do. Too bad, it would look really awesome. The most exciting endeavor this day was working on Kaiho songs (my other band in Edinburgh!). We have a gig the night I get back, and I'm rusty on the songs already know. Additionally, there are new songs to learn. These songs are the best for my one-woman-band act because there is a distinct accordion part in adition to the melodies. It's tricky to incorporate the kazoo into old songs since my right hand is already doing the elodies. With these songs i can have separate accordion and vocal parts without compromising my old arrangements.
I had already been doing "Call Me," but this day I tried "Hot Water," "Home," and "Rest My Bones." They were very popular! One girl asked if one was Yann Tiersen! There are other new songs that will eb great wtih kazoo, such as Stevie Wonder's "Sir Duke" and Sharkira's "Hips Don't Lie," but these will require writing out music and actually practicing. I´m trying to add kazoo to my pre-exiting songs, but so far it messes up my accordoin playing more than it augments the songs. But I used it on the melody of "So Long Marianne" which went okay. The other new addition to the act is some bells. I strolled around the town of Meersberg, Germany the other day and came across a shop selling mostly child-sized knight and princess costumes and relevant weapons and accessories. Outside, hwoever, were bins of toy musical instruments! There were little pan pipes, whistles, and those things where you roll the little handle between your little palms and the little balls swing around and hit the little drum head percussively. Then there were the bisn with mini tambourine, sticks with tambournig things (okay?) and various settings of bells. In Israel I had been actively looking for bells or something that would strap around my ankle, to no avail. One bell set was a strip of something with bells mounted on it, in a semi circle, with a wooden handle closing it. These handles were paitned, with heads attached, to look like animals. I handeled all these instruments, assessing their control and volume, even testing their timbres with a tambourine. i stuck a few in my shoes to test the execution, which earned me more intersting looks from passersby than merely shaking them all with a look of concentration had done. After about fifteen minutes of this I settled on the aforementioned bells, much to the relief of the store workers. I rejected the alligator, giraffe, and monkey and chose the mouse because it was a neutral color. This totally didn't matter because I was planning to remove the mouse, thread some string through the remaining holes, and tie it to my left foot. I should have gone with the giraffe becuase then I'd get to have a cylindrical giraffe after! Unfortunately, the bells are not loud enough to be heard over the accordion. Listeners may be able to hear a faint jingle, but I cannot. I decided that rather than including the bells in the regular percussion, i would use them for quiet bits, makin the transition back into the loud parts with tambourien mroe dramatic. The only place I've thought of so far to do this is in "Call Me," where it switches to only soft, high RH during the chorus.
I had more troube keeping the tambourine on than usual, which was endlessly frustrating, but the lognest I kept it on was actualy when I used the bells as a device to hold the mischievous tambourine. I can't think of any other technical difficulties, so are you ready to hear what happened?
1. A gruop of (young, drunk, male) Bayern fans stoped by. They wore an array of jerseys and one wore leiderhosen. They asked me to play "God Shave the Queen," a request I thought to incldue an English mispronounciation until I remembered that they oppose Chelsea. After this they wanted Rihanna, specifically a song with "California" in the title. I didn't know it, but suggested Lady Gaga or Adele instead ("Sometimes you play Rihanna, and sometimes Adele insteeeeaaaaaaaad"). They were up for a "Someone Like You" singalong, and their tempo and pitch were spectacular, as you can iamgine. After, one asked "Can you play this one?...'When I was just a little girl, I asked my mother, "What will I be?..."'" It took me a minute to place it, but we had a rousing chorus of "Que Serà Serà" much to the amusement of passersby. I handed over my set lsit for them to choose their final song, and they settled on "By the Rivers of Babylon." Off they went to enjoy the festivities! They took a video which hopefully they will send along.
2. Not long after, my pitch was once again shadowed by a group of equally (more?) drunk Chelsea fans. One made an inappropriate comment about my act's name. Those bawdy Brits. But then they asked me to play a song which sounded pretty identical to "Lord of the Dance," but with funny lyrics. I had heard another group of Chelsea fans changing the words to "Battle Hymm of the Republic" earlier as well! These guys have sent along their video! Woo-hoo! Click here to watch.
3. Everyone in the world was drinking beer and I wanted to join the festivities, so luckily one of the Brits gave me my first Augustiner, a bräu I had been advised to try. It certainly made the kazoo playing interesting Hm, I wonder if that could be why it broke. Can alcohol fumes melt wax paper or something?
4. Others lingered, some talked! A duo did both and asked if "Cal Me" was from Amelie How's that for a comlpiment, Sas and Freya?
5. A few kids stoped, but most tipped then bolted. I sure am scary! For one I picked up Flaa and did a demo. It actually works to do LH and kazoo and do her with RH! I will have to pratice like crazy when I get back. But the kid didn't want a turn (she ran into the forest when I presented Flaca). I wonder if they´ve found her yet.
6. As usual, I was working the same turf as the rickshaw pedalers. Their customers often waved or presented hands for high-fiving, but my hands were obviously full! I began to recogniye the same drivers and one yelled something about a "mautharmonica" or something. Probably noting the lack of it in the current song!
I could have played all night (and still have begged for more) but I quit after a while to find my new friends. They had been unsuccsesful in finding me despite my very clear and specific directions of "go past the nude people, cross the river on a foot bridge with an ice ream vendor, and you will hear me." I joiend them on their picnic blanket and did "Call Me" there for them to record so I can show the world my new act. When we all left we passed by another ice cream vendor on another bridge. Of course. Then I left my gear at the flat and went to the Oktoberfest park to watch the game! Unfortunately Chelsea won in sudden death penalty kicks due to a missed shot by poor Schweinsteiger (Pigclimber).
The end!
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