"'Hey There Delilah' is Worth a Tip"

Yesterday was a completely dry day.  Didn't rain at all!  That's great, right?  Yes, however, it meant that everyone and their mother was out busking.  Okay, that's an overstatement, but I didn't have the ease getting my usual spot that I have recently.  The other violin guy was on one earplug (which I since learned is called a bollard), and the cousins were at my spot.  Argh.  Todd was doing a show.

I nicely went up and asked how long they were going to be there.  Same old routine.  "All day."  "Well you can only stay two hours."  "Come back at 4:30 and you can play for an hour."  "No, I'm going to come back when your time is up and play for my allotted two hours."  I really hate having to be firm with them in front of the daughters!  I asked how long they'd been there, and naturally the mother said "Not long."  As in, a few minutes.  Total lie.  I know this was a lie because another performer told me that they had been out when he arrived, like an hour and half before.  "Few minutes" indeed.  This wouldn't piss me off quite so much if there weren't young, budding minds at stake.  These adult sisters are teaching their children that the way to succeed is to lie, cheat, and be aggressive.  Before I got their attention I watched for a minute, and was saddened by the accordion player's obviously fake smile.  The violin player wasn't even bothering to smile, but her cousin caught her eye and reminded her to.

I set up outside the cathedral, but took Todd's advice to join the violinists' tradition of standing on a bollard to play.  And so I did!  It was much harder to balance than I expected, but it was cool to be that high up.  Still got crap tips though.  I need my pitch!

When 3:30 came around I hopped down and went over to inform the cousins that their time was up.  Of course they all ignored me as I stood there, and I had to interrupt a song.  Both moms were there, in full aggressive mode.  They pretty much ignored me, brushing me off as they said, "No, we started at 2:30 so you can come back at 4:30."  I called them on the fact that a witness said they had set up earlier, and they didn't argue with it.  "And so that means it's time to move to a different pitch."  I was really trying to stay calm.  "Okay we'll just play till 4:00 then."  A statement, not even a question.  For fuck's sake (as I've learned to say)!  I had to be quite firm, and one of the moms said, "Well when we come out and you're here we'll do the same to you."  Oooh, a threat?  "Naturally," I replied, "since we're only allowed two hours."  This just boils my blood so much.  These poor, poor girls.  A police officer gave me a printed copy of the guidelines recently; I'm going to try to dig it up and hand it over to them.  I really want to tattle to the authorities that they're being assholes, but I don't want to push my luck.  They left entirely, and then set up in front of the cathedral. The thing is, their child labor tactics will make money anywhere in town, whereas I do significantly better at that pitch.

When they came back at 5:30, I obediently packed up my stuff without a word.  That's how it's done.  But I got in a pretty solid two hours, and there was a stretch where I didn't have to listen to them.  Here we go:

Thursday, 12 July 2012:
1. When I was still by the cathedral, a bride and groom walked by, on their way to wed.  They were the best dressed couple I've seen in a while: the bride wore a very nice white dress, but the groom wore his kilt in a pink-themed tartan, a pink sporran, pink vest, and colorful converse sneakers.  I actually had to make sure it was, in fact, a woman he was about to marry.  They smiled at the wedding march, which was way more epic atop a bollard.  (Going to say "bollard" a lot now.)

2. I was playing "Twin Peaks," and two guys of the general demographic of Twin Peaks likers tipped.  I assumed the tip and the song choice were connected, so I asked, "Are you Twin Peaks fans?"  It turned out they didn't really speak English, and had no idea what I was talking about.  Confusion ensued.  Next time, I'll just let the Twin Peaks fans identify themselves, as they often do.

3. A 12-or-so-year-old boy came by.  Like, the typical fat kid, sort of dorky, just to give you an image.  He stopped, and said in the most angelic high-pitched voice, "Keep playing, please!"  Of course!!

4. There was a huge school group.  All boys, ages like 11-18, in matching Christmas-y green blazers with red and gold stripes, and red ties with a clashing pattern.  I'm not sure where they're from, but many of them stopped, listened, clapped, and/or tipped!  Just sort of memorable because of their enormous presence.

5. I looked to my right and saw that another boy, probably also twelve or so, was standing with his baseball hat on the floor, miming accordion playing.  Amused me at first, but still annoying.  But his mother ushered him away.

6. Girl walked by with a sweatshirt that said, "Dublin,"  and below, "Capital of Ireland."  Duh!!


7. A man smiled mid-song, tipped, and said, "'Hey There, Delilah' is worth a tip!"  Okay, maybe, but I was playing "Paint it Black."  You know, by the Rolling Stones.  I really hope Mick Jagger doesn't hear that his song was mistaken for an annoying hipster song that I would never cover, for the record.  And this guy was of the right vintage to know better!

8. Immediately after vowing to not try to worm people's Twin Peaks fandom out of them, I did it again.  I was playing it and a guy had a puzzled expression on his face, so I thought, so I yelled, "Twin Peaks."  It was clear that he wasn't wondering.  Okay, this time I mean it.  No yelling about Twin Peaks.

9. Woman was sympathetic about my sign because she has three kids who are students.  Eek, that's a lot of loans!

10.  I've been putting a lot of thought into my look, and various fashion ideas, and I was thinking about going extreme rocker, just to be ironic.  Spiky hair, combat boots, studded belt, the works.  But then beautiful accordion music.  To prove this, a man walked by in total "rock" apparel, and a big pink mohawk.  Perfect model.

11. I met a fellow with whom I had been emailing about filming at the festival!  He's a student doing research on the intricacies of busking, and he's looking for subjects.  But I totally didn't get who he was at first and made it awkward.  But cool project!

12. I discussed the territory issues regarding the girls with Elaine.  I love her total disregard of the rules.  She encouraged me to NOT give my spot up, regardless of the fact that I kicked them off it, or to set up again right next to them.  Etc.

After I calmly gave up my spot, I was going to go play more on that other street.  It was that perfect time of day.  Little did the pushy moms know, I had a better spot up my sleeve.  Mwahaha.  But first, I had a "staff meeting."  I love using actual work/office terms for busking, but this was the first time this one came up.  Tom and I went to go have a beer, and we ended up discussing the physics behind Flaca's setup, which is a project of the not-too-distant future.  Super helpful!!  And since Scottish beer is so incredibly delicious, I never made it out to the other street.  Nor did I blog.  Oops.  Excited to get Flaca moving!

Till next time (which is actually right now, it's a double-blogging night).